Depression - I just want to live a life that has purpose again
Mental illness can make everything we take for granted fade into the background, such as time to just do basics like: Making a bed, cleaning teeth or making something to eat. The energy to do these simple acts seems to disappear without warning. Time can leave you behind as it's meaning is diminished or lost, for what seems to be forever, in the depth of your mind.
The happy memories of glimmers of bright, colourful lights, dancing on the horizon, or reaching out to touch the bright rays of shimmering sunlight, belonging to a hopeful future, are gone. Every day can be heavy, dark and slow. No one really understands what you are going through. You are on a lonely journey where you experience fears and anxiety every day. Trying to sleep is hell, as sleep stays away and feelings of being worthless, ensure that you reject those who want to help you.
You hide what you are going through at work and at home, because who do you speak to? Who will listen, hear what you are saying, or understand what you are going through? You don’t know what to say to those who are close to you; you feel so very lonely around others. Being told that things will get better can send you deeper into a dark place, where confusion lives.
You have no motivation to do anything, because you cannot see a future for yourself and exhaustion takes its place; you believe nothing can ever be the same again. Desperately, you want to be free, to escape this hell and the deep sinking feeling that you are experiencing, in your heart and stomach.
Needing help and asking for it, just makes you think or feel like a burden and a fraud; at the same time, you want to be free of medicine, doctors, counselors, hospitals and all those constant, negative thoughts.
Although you may rely on medication and be grateful to have it, because you know it has really helps; at the same and in the same breath, you wish that you could be free of medication, therapy or both, without fearing that it might lead to a relapse.
You know that even with all the treatment you are receiving, you are the only one, who can truly make the changes that will take you to a better future. Breaking old, unwanted and negative habits and adopting new positive habits is necessary. Although there may be more low points than high points to start with, there will come a time when you start to know things are getting better.
You can change the negatives of the past, into positive changes for the future. Slowly, so very slowly, starting with a trickle, you begin to have more energy and slowly start to want to do more, to try new things and ways of doing things. Each day, you emerge a little more, from your dark place and start to welcome the opportunity to be around others. You focus on doing things that make you happy and start to believe that you can get there and be whole again. You learn to choose what is important to you and what might become a life changing chapter in your life.
You notice that recovery is happening and that it takes time and also, the support of others.
Being professionally coached, can allow you to take the first steps required, to focus on getting to the end of a long dark tunnel. Professional coaching can steer you towards exploring new future possibilities, while believing you can do it, one step at a time. Once again, you can start to focus on glimmers of bright, colourful lights, dancing on the horizon and know that life can be better. Most importantly, coaching will give you the forward momentum required to move towards that new future, feeding your hope of a better future, with a specific time and date in mind, to give you something to really smile about.
Choose life with purpose… choose a happier future... choose coaching.
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