Can you trust someone to solve your problems?

Although life coaches are about identifying opportunities as well as dealing with problems, there is no doubt that people often consider seeing a life coach when they are at a crossroads in life. With decisions to be made and hurdles to overcome, it makes sense that you might want a helping hand to guide you through it. 

Recently though I heard somebody asking the question, "But can I really trust a life coach to solve my problems?"

The answer is two fold and quite clear:

Firstly, if you don’t trust your coach with your feelings, you aren’t going to get the results you want. Coaches are there to absorb, enquire and facilitate the change in perception required for you to move in the direction you want. To enable them to do this you need to be happy to allow yourself to really be yourself in front of them and share how you truly think and feel. Trust is the bedrock of the coaching relationship.

You need to find a coach with whom you feel comfortable, but remember they aren’t there to be your best friend. Your coach should come across as reliable, credible and responsive. You should get the feeling that they have the ability to listen, know what they are talking about and are aiming to get you to your chosen destination in as few a sessions as possible. In this sense, yes you definitely want to be able to trust your coach.

Secondly, as far as solving your problems goes, no. They aren’t there to be your guru and tell you what you should do. If anyone claims to be able to solve your problems for you, I’d suggest you thank them kindly and move on. The person who will be solving the problem is you. Your coach is there to help you find the answers you are looking for. You are the expert on you, even if you may not be able to see that today. 

A really good coach will be able to listen, adeptly direct, draw the relevant information from you, identify key areas of stress and pinpoint triggers old and new. Assuming you are ready for change, your coach can then guide you with a variety of relevant techniques and exercises to release old outdated feelings, transform negative patterns of behaviour and change negative thought cycles. This will allow you to free yourself from old constraints, see the things you thought were problems in a new light and identify a path for your future.

Crucially though, it is you who provides the information and you who chooses your future. It is this that will enable you to go on through life feeling stronger and more confident, without having to pay a coach at the end of the phone every week for the next two years, just to tell you you are OK.

Can you trust someone to solve your problems? You can find someone, a good coach, who can find a way to enable you to trust yourself to solve your problems and that’s got to be worth its weight in gold.