5 Top Tips For Dealing With Divorce
How To Move On From Divorce More Easily
If you’re going through divorce and feeling sad, lonely, angry, confused, hurt, or a combination of these emotions, then you may feel like the pain is never going to end. It will, but how quickly you move on is dependent upon you and the choices you make. Every day we make choices that keep us where we are, further unravel our happiness, or propel us towards bigger, better, brighter things.
Which choices are you making daily and are they conducive to your happiness? What are the predominant actions that you take weekly and are they helping you to move on from divorce or stay miserable? What are your predominant thoughts about your new, yet-to-be-designed, future? Thoughts shape our lives - how are your current thoughts shaping your life? Are they giving you more of the same or are they helping you to move towards happiness?
If you’re going through divorce (or are about to be) you’ll find these top tips for dealing with divorce very helpful.
Get Out Of Denial And Get In Touch With The Reality
Chances are, your marriage is over; it’s time to redesign your life, but the longer you hope your lover will come back to you, no matter how many signs they have given that they’ve moved on, the longer you’ll stay stuck in the post-divorce misery. Get in touch with the reality, allow yourself to truly feel all the emotions you are experiencing, and use the low points to motivate you to move on. Sometimes, hitting rock bottom is what we need to make a change.
Write In A Journal To Help You Get Clear, Get In Touch With The Emotions, And Ultimately Move On
If you can’t talk to someone frankly (like a professional or friend), journal writing can give you a place to purge yourself of negative feelings. It also helps you to “verbalise” what you are experiencing, which assists your body to move out of the fight-or-flight response mode (for more information on this read my online article ‘Reduce Tension and Anger; Understand Emotions and Feelings’). Once you have allowed yourself to grieve, you can then move on.
Rebuild Self-Confidence, Self-Worth And Self-Love
Make an effort with your appearance and your social life. Surround yourself with positive and loving people who want the best for you, no matter how little you feel like even getting dressed!
By ensuring you look good on the outside, you will also feel better on the inside. Use it to lift your mood. Whether you’re going to sit at home, or just pop to the local shops, you can still feel better about you; dress to lift your mood, not to match it!
Use Affirmations and Visualisations
Instead of mulling over the past and imagining your soon to be ex-spouse playing happy families with someone else, imagine you playing happy families with Mr or Mrs Right. If you can’t see that far yet, at the very least imagine yourself as a happy singleton getting compliments and romantic attention from others and all the fun butterflies in the stomach that go with it.
Use positive affirmations (positive statements about yourself stated in the present tense) that reflect what you want to be, feel and do instead of chastising yourself with disempowering, degrading self-talk.
Be Happy Within Your Own Company And Discover Your “Inner You”
Practise enjoying your own company. This way, you won’t rush into the wrong relationship and waste weeks or even years of your life.
People that are happy in their own company make the best partners because of their healthy relationship with themselves. As you spend time with yourself, you’ll learn a lot more about who you really are and this knowledge will help you to create your ideal life and find your ideal partner.
Become independently happy and self-aware and you’ll much more likely find Mr or Mrs Right to spend the rest of your life with.
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About Sam Owen
I help people improve relationships, build confidence, resolve anxiety, gain clarity and achieve life goals. My coaching is intuitive, science-based, solution-focused, results-driven, and fast working.
I've been coaching clients in private practice since 2012 and my high success rate has led me to additionally work as an expert and psychologist for big brands and media, work as a BBC contri… Read more
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