Three Steps to Overcome your Fear of Rejection
17th November, 20130 Comments
How would your life be if you didn’t care what others thought of you?
- Apply for that job you really want
- Register with an online dating site
- Start writing that novel you have always talked about
- Take a course on public speaking
- Need to confront your boss about something you are not happy about
- Want to ask for a pay rise
- Say no to someone you love.
Do you allow others to convince you not to change jobs or do you convince yourself not to go online as nobody meets an ideal partner in that way? Do you talk yourself out of writing that novel, convincing yourself it’s almost impossible to get a book deal these days and not bother asking for a pay rise assuring yourself that your boss would never agree?
Why do I ask?
Because this happens in about 90% of cases.
I bet you can think of at least one time you have not started something you talk about or began something and not completed it. But then, just a few weeks, months later you started getting enthusiastic about something else and the cycle continues once again.
If you are like most people, then you probably beat yourself up for not ever finishing what you started or not ever even starting to do what you dream about.
Here’s the thing: fear is natural and everyone has it, even high achievers. But, they walk through their fear and that’s why they are so successful.
If, like most people you already know what you need to do to create the life you want, but you haven’t done what you know and/or don’t know where to start then read on ...
First things first
You have to believe what you want is possible and walk through your fears. It is a choice and a discipline to think positively and when you start to re-programme your thoughts to believe positive thoughts like; publishers will love my book and I am great at public speaking, your brain will take over and figure out how to bring that possibility to you, and it will start to expect to achieve the outcome you want.
MAKE a commitment to yourself to overcome your fear of rejection, like these achievers;
One of America’s most loved TV hosts who has won 13 Emmy awards. According to Forbes, Ellen is worth $53 million (in 2012). She had several rejections and hasn’t ever been to college.
He is Chairman of Microsoft, and dropped out of Harvard University to concentrate on software development. According to Forbes he had a net worth of $40 billion in 2009.
He is an entrepreneur in his mid-forties and is the son of Cypriot immigrants. He is dyslexic and cannot read. He grew up in the East End, left school with no qualifications and is now ranked at 200 on The Sunday Times Rich List with an estimated worth of over £500 million.
Stop telling everyone why you cannot do something. It is a waste of energy. Focus on what you can do. Excuses are so last season. Excuses always ensure defeat, so they are a bad habit to fall into.
My three steps
1. Fire your committee - Often they sit at the foot of your bed, eagerly waiting for you to wake up so they can pounce on you. They love to make you anxious (which, as you know, is futile and doesn’t change anything); it’s simply an attempt by our committee to control our future by making us think we will fail. Say over and over ‘I can and I will’.
2. Visualise your desired outcome for five minutes daily. Close your eyes, see the desired result, shaking hands with your new boss, walking into the new office on the first day, kissing your ideal partner, seeing your book on Amazon and then feel it, sense it, step into it, and then place it in a huge cloud and let it go.
3. Keep a success journal and record all your successes. Learning to ride a bike for the first time, passing your driving test, passing exams at school, winning an award. These are all successes. If you feel fearful take out your success journal and acknowledge all of these things were scary at the time but you overcame them and you can overcome anything.
Make it happen - YOU ARE WORTH IT!
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