The answers to a productive argument

Do you find it hard to connect with someone after you have had an argument? You can diffuse these types of situations in five steps.

Applying mindfulness to tense situations can help bring all parties back down to earth. It can transform how we approach work and our relationships in a positive manner.

These tools can help you confront conflict mindfully by preventing the addition of more negative energy. Try this five-step process the next time an argument breaks out with someone close to you.

Hug it out

Spend one minute breathing alongside the person you have argued with. This can ground you both and helps release negative energy. Hugging is a great way to do this, or you can sit with your hands and knees touching.

Be honest with yourself

You will need to understand your own assumptions and fears. This is because they might slip into discussion and could affect how you perceive certain actions and conversations from others.

The answers to a productive argument

If you are feeling angry and defensive, you might take things the wrong way, but if you show your cards to the other person, it has a better chance of ending well.

Get to the point

Ask for what you want based on what you need. For example, you could say “Please can you call me when you are running late,” and then follow it up with the important question, “Is that something you are willing to do?”

Summarise the discussion

Summarise the discussion with the other party and make sure they share your understanding. This will hopefully prevent the same argument from happening in the future.


Reconnect they way you started. Try to hug or make light of the argument that you have just diffused. This can do wonders for rebuilding relationships.

If you are arguing a lot in your relationship and want to find out how a life coach can help, visit our informative fact sheet.

Read and comment on the original Mind Body Green article.

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Written by Ross East

Written by Ross East

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