How to correct things we mistake for happiness (part two)

Everyone wants to be happy. But some people might take a wrong turn for one reason or another and end up confusing certain negative situations with happiness. Here are a number of things that can cause confusion:

1. Complaining, then not rectifying

There isn’t anything wrong with complaining from time to time; it does have its benefits. It can be used to point out the weakness in something so it can be improved. The problem starts when people complain for the sake of complaining, and then don’t do anything about it. If you do want to talk about what’s wrong, try your best to also think about potential solutions.

2. Staying friends with negative people

Sometimes letting go of a friend is harder than ending a relationship with your partner. But it’s important to be loyal but also remember there is a difference between being dependable and mollycoddling!

No one wants to break a friendship at the first sign of trouble, so give them enough time and room to change, if they don’t, it just might be time to move on.

3. Having too many friends on social media

Making friends and ‘connections’ is far easier now than it has been in the past due to the introduction of social media on a global scale. It can be quite flattering to have a number of ‘friends’ on your social network, but this can easily form a source of frustration and angst when reading your dashboard every day.

Sometimes it can be fun finding out what your best friend had for lunch, but you might become less interested when you see the same holiday selfie and life problems from people you barely know. Try ‘unfriending’ acquaintances that you wouldn’t say hello to if you saw them in the street. It can feel quite cathartic and will allow you to nurture your worthwhile friendships.

4. Pursuing an interest to please someone else

If you need a distraction or just want to do something out of the ordinary, accepting an invitation from a friend to join a new project or pursue a new hobby can be a great thing to do. But if you’re only there to please someone else, the excitement might wear thin pretty quickly making you want to leave, creating a very awkward situation.

Trying new things is great though. Don’t be turned off just because you might not end up loving it like your friend does. Just explain to them you aren’t enjoying it enough to keep going; be honest and they will understand!

5. Making fun out of people

Having a sense of humour is great. Being in a group where laughter naturally occurs can bind friendships together. Sometimes however, humour can cross certain lines and we don’t realise it until we lose our friends one at a time.

Making people genuinely laugh is a great skill to have; it’s a sign of confidence and creativity. But sometimes insult-based humour can be offensive and not everyone will take it the right way.

Happiness is within our grasp, but sometimes our journey can complicate things. So try simplifying it!

If you feel you could do with some help managing your happiness, a life coach may be able to help. To find a life coach in your area, please use our advanced search tool.

Read part one of How to correct things mistaken for happiness for more tips, or view and comment on the original Lifehack article.