How to tell if you’re in an unhealthy relationship
We recognise when our friends are unhappy in their relationships, so why can’t we do the same for ourselves?
Falling in love with someone can make it incredibly hard to see when the relationship goes from happy and healthy, to unhappy and toxic. At the beginning of your relationship you may have thought your partner was the ‘one’, and even though things aren’t great anymore – you convince yourself that you’re just going through a rough patch.
Denial can be an incredibly powerful thing.
If your partner isn’t treating you right, it may well be time to consider your options. Remember that being single is far better than being in an unhappy relationship, no matter how scary the transition may feel.
Signs that you’re in an unhealthy relationship:
1. You’re losing friends
Many of us find we lose friends as we get older – it could be down to geography or simply because you drifted apart. This is quite normal, you should be worried however if you are losing friends because of your partner. Maybe he/she has a jealous streak and doesn’t let you have friends of the opposite sex, or maybe your friends simply don’t like your partner because of the way he/she treats you, or the way you act when you’re around him/her. Whatever the reason, if you find yourself losing friends because of your partner, it’s time to look at the relationship.
2. You feel as though you have to delete innocent texts/emails
If you find yourself deleting texts or emails because you are worried that your partner may misinterpret them – it may be time to take a step back. If your partner has a habit of getting angry over innocent messages and you feel as though you have to hide perfectly innocent correspondence, your partner may well have trust issues.
3. You’re unhappy most of the time
An obvious one, but happiness is a tricky thing to define. You may say you are happy in your relationship, but do you truly feel happiness or are you just happy to be in a relationship? If your partner puts you down or you feel anxious and unhappy most of the time, it may be time to put your happiness first and get out of the relationship.
4. He/she lets you down
Does your partner agree to plans and then let you down at the last minute? If this is a regular occurrence it may be worth asking if they value your time. If your partner can’t commit to simple plans like this – how well do you think they’ll commit to you in the future?
5. Your loved ones don’t like your partner
Chances are – your mum’s right when she tells you ‘he/she is bad news’. If family and friends tell you they don’t like the person you’re dating, it may be worth listening to them. Of course some friends will have an opinion no matter who you’re dating, but if all of your loved ones agree that you aren’t being treated right, give them your time and listen.
If you feel you could use a little extra help in the dating game, why not speak to a relationship coach? Find out more on our relationships page.
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