Being single is often a much needed and treasured time for the majority of us. It gives us time to rediscover ourselves, look after ourselves and define what we truly want from life. Of course, there comes a time when being alone becomes lonely, and we crave a relationship.
At this point we can make one of two choices. We can choose to feel depressed, wallow in self-pity and seek out any form of partner, regardless of whether or not they are right for us. Or, we can view our search for love as another challenge, a goal that can be achieved with certain steps. This second choice is positive and yields great results. Take a look below for the steps you can take to achieve this goal:
See yourself the way you would like to be seen
For most of us, there are three views that influence the way we feel about ourselves: how we see ourselves, how we think others see us and how others really see us. The most important view here is the way we view ourselves. The other two should not even come into your mind as they often colour the way we think and feel about ourselves. Enabling self-love and self-appreciation stops others from chipping away at your confidence. And when you view yourself in a positive light, others will follow.
Don’t fight loneliness
It is all too easy to spend our time fighting with loneliness, trying to ward it off and getting frustrated. Eventually these negative thought patterns get stuck on repeat, trapping us in loneliness’ hold. Instead of being against loneliness, choose to be for a satisfying relationship. Accept your situation for what it really is (time and space to connect with yourself) and make a commitment to change it and allow love into your life.
Visualise your future
Taking a few minutes every day to stop and visualise a scene of yourself and your future partner happy in love will trick your brain into believing it’s real. Scientists have shown that the same area of your brain is active when you’re doing something as when you’re visualising it. This means you will unconsciously and gradually become the person you’re imagining.
Make your goal an intention
An intention has more power than a goal as it strips away any doubt. When you state your intention, you should do so as if it has already happened. For example instead of saying “I want to find the perfect partner” you would state, “I have found my perfect partner”. The more details you can add to your intention, the better. Repeat this affirmation and the energy will attract your thoughts into being.
Sometimes looking at a situation from a fresh set of eyes can help you change the way you think. For many people, seeking a life coach can help do just that. To find out how a life coach could help you in terms of relationships, please see our Relationships page.
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