Many people find that the same pattern occurs time and time again, whether their goal is to get fit, lose weight, find (and keep) a partner, or simply to be happier. Life coaches often find that the main thing standing between that person and the thing they want is fear.
Sometimes it’s fear of change, sometimes it’s fear of failure and sometimes – perhaps worst of all, it’s fear of success that stops people from getting what they want in life.
Many of us begin life feeling pretty optimistic – when we’re younger we dream about what we’d like to be when we ‘grow up’. But as the years go by, something begins to happen. We start to question ourselves, our abilities, our self-worth.
Gradually we start to let go of some of our dreams because keeping them seems to cause more pain and disappointment. One by one, we shut ourselves down and resign ourselves to the way things are.
One of the most pivotal stages in improving life is to clearly define what it is you want. So many people have difficulty doing this because they are too afraid of what it opens them up to. Time and again we watch people bury their desires to go with the flow of things because it’s ‘easier’. They conclude that this is adult life, this is how things are supposed to be as a grown up. But are these people really happier, just because they have learnt to be content?
People who have dreams and ambitions may be seen as unrealistic, or even deluded. They may face more failures and disappointments than those who don’t try – but aren’t these things all part of living? When you play it safe you miss out on opportunities to gain wisdom and insight – you deprive yourself of the adventures you could be having.
Desire is not a bad thing: it is a healthy energy. If you can learn to open up and let it course through you, you might feel yourself become more alive and more connected with the world.
Here are some quick tips on how to get rid of your fears and embrace desire:
- Write a list of goals.
- Evaluate your goals. Do you really want to do these things or is it because someone else thinks you should, or you think it’s the kind of goal you ‘should’ have?
- Slip interim goals between each big one. For example, if your goal is to run the London marathon next year, set smaller targets e.g. – run 1 mile in 10 minutes and so on.
- Get support! Start a blog and write down your feelings, your achievements, your failures. Getting a crowd on board will motivate you to keep going. Speaking with a life coach will open you up to new self-motivational techniques and allow you to keep track of your progress.
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