The secrets of the ‘Scarlet Woman’ – why do girls cheat?

Infidelity is one of the biggest stumbling blocks couples face – just one moment of recklessness can undo years of happy coupledom and change lives irreversibly…so why risk it?

Women are traditionally painted as the home-makers, the sex that most wants to settle down with faithful partners so they can live out their lives in familiar, matrimonial comfort.

But is it ever really as simple as that? Not all women are driven by the dream of a white wedding dress, a people carrier and a fixed-rate mortgage. As much as a woman might love the man in her life, she still faces the same dilemmas and temptations as he does.

Relationships are rarely easy-going. After many years, feelings of rejection, boredom and fear of commitment can start to form cracks that make the idea of infidelity all the more appealing.

According to a new poll by MSN UK Her, women are most likely to cheat when they feel neglected by their partners. This corresponds with a previous MSN survey, which found that women are more likely to cheat for emotional reasons, as opposed to the need for a thrill.

Relationship expert Dr Pam Spurr says this could be linked to the idea of revenge. Women who feel like they’re not getting enough care and attention from their partners might be looking for a way to get their own-back. In this poll, 4% of women admitted they’d had ‘revenge affairs’ because their partners had cheated first.

Women who feel unsure about whether their partner is ‘the one’ may also be more likely to cheat. 12% said they cheated because they simply didn’t feel committed to their partner. Being unsure about your feelings for someone may result in less guilt, making it easier to be with someone else.

Dr Spur says: “This resonates with the issue I also come across where women can’t identify exactly what’s “wrong” with their relationship and sometimes they cheat to test the waters with someone else. It’s a kind of ‘my partner won’t do so will this man do instead?’ test.”

Another common reason women cheat is to reaffirm their attraction. If you’ve got a partner at home who doesn’t bat an eyelid when you put on a new dress, and there’s another man who lavishes compliments and attention on you, you’re highly likely to be tempted by the guy who offers the ego-boost.

Dr Spur explains that although whirlwind affairs can feel thrilling and romantic, the after-math can be destructive and permanent. A previous survey found that nearly half of those who cheat experience long-lasting guilt about their actions.

If you feel tempted to stray then it’s highly likely there is a big problem in your relationship that won’t be cured by infidelity.

To discuss options and decide what to do, you can always see a life coach. To find out how a life coach could help you, please visit our page about Relationships.

View and comment on the original MSN article.