Is your love for technology getting in the way of your real love life?

According to sex therapist Anna Kingsley, too many of us are spending more time focussing on our laptops and our mobile phones than we are on our other half who is often right in front of us.

Most of us cite the main reason for using technology as the ability to ‘keep in touch’ with friends and family – yet ironically our relationships with our gadgets can often end up distancing us from those who we are closest to.

Think about the last thing you do at night and the first thing you do in the morning. For many of us, watching a film on our laptop in bed, sending a quick text or email before turning out the light and rolling over to switch off our alarm and quickly checking our phones in the morning will be all too familiar.

After all, if you’re switching off your phone alarm then whilst you are there you might as well check the weather forecast and your social networking profiles surely? Whilst this might make sense in your head and may only take a matter of minutes – those minutes are minutes you could have been using to interact with your partner.

Sleep and relationship experts have long since been telling us that our beds should be reserved exclusively for sleep and sex – yet many of us insist on inviting our laptops, phones and TVs into the equation.

Study upon study has found that such distractions can be detrimental to the average relationship. One Italian study for example, revealed that couples that had a TV in their bedroom had sex half as often as couples whose bedrooms were TV free, with the effect among over 50’s even more pronounced with a 50% drop in sex.

With one in four of us texting before we drift off to sleep at night and one third of individuals taking their laptops to bed with them – how is it possible to regain levels of intimacy?

Kingsley recommends the ‘no gadgets after 10pm’ rule, where couples agree to switch off from all technology and instead focus on one another.

If you are struggling with the intimate side of your relationship or you feel that your partner is simply overlooking you in favour of playing with their gadgets then it may be time to seek help. To find out how relationship coaching may be able to help you, please visit our fact-sheet for further information.

View and comment on the original All About You article.

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Emma Hilton

Written by Emma Hilton

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