Common marriage issues and how to overcome them

Common marriage issues and how to overcome themThey may sound a little stereotypical but nonetheless these common relationship problems can often cause far more upset than they need to, especially when they can be easily fixed:

In-Laws

Couples may have difficulty adjusting to having in-laws around and there may be friction between certain family members. A common horror story is trouble between the wife and her husbands mother but it seems the myth is not unfounded. Marriage researcher John Gottman, PhD explains that conflict can sometimes arise because both women are competing for the attention of the husband.

Solidarity is a huge part of a successful marriage so it is important that even if a husband believes his wife is in the wrong, they still present a united front as a couple. This will speak volumes to a mum, showing her that her sons most important job is now to be a good husband.

Finances

Even if you have been with your partner years and years, getting married, moving in together and sharing your finances can come as a huge shock. If you are arguing over who is spending what then make a financial plan as a team.

Set out some goals you both want to achieve such as home, cars, holidays and retirement and review them once a month. A good idea may be to open a joint account where you both deposit a percentage of your salary (a percentage sometimes works better than a set amount as if one is earning more or less than the other it still works out relatively), for shared bills and outgoings, then deposit the remaining amount into personal accounts for you to spend on whatever you wish.

Cleaning

According to a US study conducted by the University of Michigan, having a husband creates an extra 7 hours per week of housework for women, whilst having a wife reduces the amount of time spent cleaning etc by an hour for men.

Wives often feel that their husbands do not pitch in equally in terms of the housework but if they were brought up in a home where their mother carried out most of the domestic activities then it is plain to see where their habits come from.

If you are feeling disheartened and unappreciated by your other half not pitching in around the house then tell them how important it is to you that they make more of an effort.

If they still need some motivation then tell them that Marriage researcher John Gottman, PhD has found that husbands who reported pitching in frequently around the house recorded more satisfying sex lives than those who did not.

Sex

As our relationships develop and turn from months to years it is understandable that some of the initial attraction and sexual desire begins to fade a little. However, it still remains an important relationship factor. If you are feeling rejected or like your desires are unfulfilled then try to be open and honest about the way you are feeling without fear of embarrassment. If something is wrong then it’s likely the other person has noticed and has been afraid to speak up.

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Emma Hilton

Written by Emma Hilton

Written by Emma Hilton

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