Why self-love is so important and how to do it
Self-love is a term that is used a lot in the self-help and personal development world. So you might have read or heard plenty about it, you might know that it is important and you may even understand why.
Your primary relationship needs to be with yourself - all others are mirrors of it. As you learn to love yourself, you automatically receive the love and appreciation that you desire from others. When you are committed to yourself and to living your truth, you will attract others with equal commitment. The better you feel about yourself the better your life will be. Your outside world is usually a direct expression of your internal world.
Yet the question I hear by a lot of folks is “how?"
It’s an amazing question and here is how you do it:
By acting as if.
Act as if you were completely and utterly in love with yourself. Speak, eat, drink, dress and treat yourself as if you were your most loving fan, your best friend, guardian angel and lover all at once.
Let me give you some examples:
- Tell yourself you love yourself, speak kindly about yourself and stop berating and criticising yourself. Accept yourself the way you are and remember that nobody is perfect.
- Say positive affirmations such as “I love and accept myself exactly the way I am, no matter what. I am equal to everyone else. I am worthy” over and over again out loud; a million times a day if necessary.
- Be kind to your body; drink plenty of water, eat healthy foods and exercise. Treat yourself in a way that reflects someone that really loves, cares about and honors themselves.
- Spoil yourself regularly. Have a bath, do your nails, put a facemask on, get a manicure, wear your most gorgeous underwear regardless whether you are single or in a relationship and do anything else that says “I love you, you are worthy and deserve to be treated well”. (Guys, you can do those things as well, or at least you get the idea here. Treat yourself ;) ).
- Take yourself on a regular date. Just you and yourself. Whether that is going to your favorite coffee shop and read for an hour, treating yourself to a massage, going for a walk or taking an art class, do take the time to have a weekly date with yourself.
- Last but not least, take things lightly. Take yourself lightly. Being on a self-development or spiritual journey doesn’t mean we have to be serious. Make sure to have tons of fun, laugh, giggle and do things that make you happy.
Whatever you do, always do it with an intention of loving-kindness and care.
Even if you are just faking it at the beginning, you are going to reap the benefits of it. Fake it till you make it.
If you need help getting into the right frame of mind, especially at the beginning of embracing this new attitude get used to asking yourself the following two questions on a regular basis:
How would I treat and speak to myself if I loved myself like a mother loves her little child?
How would someone that absolutely loves, accepts and honors themselves treat herself or himself?
I want you to get into this new attitude right away. Think and speak kindly about yourself and choose two things that you are going to do today that express utmost love and kindness towards yourself. Then each day do something new and continue with what you have already tried so it starts becoming a whole new way of being.
Let the journey of self-love, joy, internal and external abundance begin.
Here’s to your success.
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Karen Hayns MSc - Future PerfectSeptember 11th, 2017