Why am I unhappy?
6th December, 20130 Comments
Written by: I-Lan Hamilton - ilancoaching
The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts.
Many people regularly find themselves in a state of anxiety or unhappiness, suffering emotional turmoil and conflict, and wondering why they are feeling this way: Why am I unhappy? How did I get to this? How can I change the way I feel?
The first step is awareness; so begin to notice the feeling, and where this is for you (it may manifest itself physically, tightening in the chest, butterflies in your stomach, feeling sick). This acts as your warning signal, and when you notice this, ask yourself these questions:
- What am I thinking about or focussing on?
- Is this thought a fact, or an interpretation of events or circumstances?
More often than not, you will realise that what you are thinking or focussing your mind on, is based on judgement, perspective, interpretation and assumption. All of which, are not fact based and therefore, not necessarily true; but all these thoughts help to create the ‘story’ that you then live into.
Fact: She walked out of the door, and the door slammed shut.
Interpretation: She must be angry with me, because she slammed the door shut when she walked out of the room. I don’t know what I’ve done to upset her.
“Nothing in the world can bother you as much as your own mind, I tell you. In fact, others seem to be bothering you; but it is not others, it is your own mind.” – Sri Sri Ravi Shankar.
So, begin by only looking at the facts of any situation, and then ask yourself:
- How else could I look at this?
- What else could be happening?
- What is the opportunity/learning?
Ask yourself better questions and notice what happens.
With positivity and love,
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