Turning over an old leaf...
Many years ago, after rekindling an old relationship which (unsurprisingly) ended rather badly, a wise person told me, "That's why they put rubbers on the end of pencils... because we all make mistakes!".
Staying stuck in - or returning to an unhealthy relationship is akin to choosing your very own Groundhog Day. The good, the bad and the ugly get repeated over and over again, until there is no good left at all and only the bad and the ugly stuff remains.
Why do we do this? We kid ourselves that we're trying to make a go of things, that 'if only we loved them more, they could change' or maybe if we encouraged them (on a very regular basis) to just do this one thing, their lives would be complete.... and when their lives were complete, we would be complete. Uh-oh. Red alert! But we're all a work in progress. Even those of us in recovery from co-dependency, from unhealthy relationship patterns, find ourselves recycling, every now and again (albeit not for very long). We find ourselves falling into habitual, well-trodde grooves of relating because they became ingrained at a very young age. Recycling isn't always environmentally friendly.
So how do we break free from the shackles of co-dependency? How do we escape our very own Groundhog Day? Awareness of our patterns of relating is the first step to freedom. Therapy can and does help. Recovery coaching can and does help. Focusing on piecing together those scattered parts of your life that have been gathering dust, all the while you've been 'helping' that other person, provides the key to becoming whole and healthy again.
How about focusing on the most important relationship you'll ever have - the one you have with yourself. Time to turn over a new leaf?
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