Stop saying "I don't mind"
25th August, 20160 Comments
Written by: Lucy Seifert Life Coach London
Do you ever say "I don’t mind”?
Sit down, sit down, sit down, sit down, sit down you’re rocking the boat! (Refrain from Guys and Dolls)
1. The wish to be accommodating and easy going.
Imagine your boss asks you to take on a role that is new to you: “I‘d like you to manage the next project and chair the meetings. How does that sound to you?”
The role involves taking on the task of chairing meetings and reporting back. You haven’t chaired a committee before. You may feel somewhat unconfident or anxious and so you reply: “I don’t mind. Whatever you think best”.
Imagine you are the same person, with the same skills, rather anxious about taking on this role, but you give a more positive and assertive response, such as:
“I’m very pleased to be asked. I don’t feel confident to chair meetings at this time and would like to gain some meeting skills before taking it on. I’d welcome attending some training and then would very much like this opportunity for the next project.”
“I’d like to give it some thought as it coincides with other project deadlines. I’d be glad to have a day to review my work and what would be involved. I'll get back to you tomorrow afternoon, if that’s OK with you?“
If you say I don’t mind it gives an impression that you:
You hand over the power of decision making to others, and these decisions may affect you adversely!
Next time you hear yourself about to say “I don’t mind”, stop, take stock and ask yourself: “What is it I’d really like?” Next time someone says to you that they don’t mind, you may wish to say “I’d find it helpful to know what you prefer so we can do something that suits us both” or in a professional context, "so that we can take an informed decision.”
About the author
Our personal challenges can affect us at home, work and in our relationships. My 25 years of coaching and training experience help you build confidence and design strategies to make positive changes. You’ll find that I have a warm coaching style, with integrity and professionalism. Also, I’ve authored five books about coaching and assertiveness.
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