30th June, 20160 Comments
Sometimes when we have an idea or something that we really want to achieve (business or otherwise) but we just can’t seem to get it off the ground because we feel blocked. There’s just something in the way, an inner obstacle.
Often, this stems from a childhood event or events. For instance, it could be that even though you got A grades most of the time that one B grade you got was picked up by a parent and you felt like a failure, not good enough, all the usual things we humans go through. However, something like this can really stop us lifting the bar on our life. We live ‘smaller’, don’t want to ‘risk’ pushing our boundaries.
This can make us feel dissatisfied, fearful, what if we get it wrong/it’s not good enough, etc. This can then lead to confusion, uncertainty and a feeling of ‘stuckness’. Some people are so fearful, that even in creative jobs where people brainstorm all the time, they just won’t voice their ideas just in case. It limits our lives both professionally and personally but it doesn’t have to be that way!
When we get stuck and we don't know why we aren't doing the things we really want to it's often because it's a values problem. Our core values drive our behaviour and if you don't know what your core values are then you may not know how to achieve certain things. But for the purposes of this article we’ll concentrate on something else that can get us into a ‘stuck groove’.
When we are blocked mentally or emotionally to our goals, part of the reason is the DVD we are playing in our minds.
You see, we are subconsciously, shooting pictures up in our minds all day long by our thoughts but because they are just out of conscious awareness we aren't always aware of them and we don’t realise that is the reason we aren't feeling great at that moment.
For instance, if I said to you now "let's go to a party tomorrow night, I know the host it'll be fun". What's your immediate reaction? "Great, what time" or, "oh God, not a party, how can I get out of this".
Well whatever your reaction is there would probably have been a picture just outside of your awareness which also brought up a feeling that will either feel good, fearful or neutral.
It all depends on your perception of the situation. This perception will then reinforce beliefs if it's something that has come up before i.e. I'm so shy, or the opposite, I love meeting new people.
So that said, when coaching someone it makes sense to help the person clarify their goal and then change the picture, therefore creating a different feeling and perception about the situation, whatever it is. This doesn't necessarily mean you will suddenly love parties or meetings, it just means you will feel better and have a different viewpoint on the situation.
When we change feelings and beliefs about certain ideas that we may have been carrying around for years it can be such a relief and a wonderful freeing up of energy that can be quite liberating. Coaching and NLP can really help resolve the problem.
People often forget that they have choice. In fact, they don't even know how to generate choices for themselves.They just keep rolling out the same old ideas, feelings and behaviours even though they don't want to feel or act like that. We need to change the pictures!
About the author
Denise Bosque is an NLP Practitioner, fully qualified clinical hypnotherapist, EMDR therapist and mindfulness teacher. Helping people to be happier.
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