Perfect fit

How often do you hear yourself say “I know I should…” And yet you’re not doing whatever that something is! So there’s a reason for this and it’s probably not that you’re lazy, hopeless, indecisive or any of the other labels that you’re attaching to yourself. It’s probably that you’re not confident that it’s a perfect fit.

Where has the ‘should’ come from? Whose voice do you hear? Who do you worry about letting down if you don’t?

However well-intentioned and wise our colleagues/friends/family are, their advice does not always fit well for us. In fact it’s just possible it does more harm than good because they don’t have the whole picture. How could they? When someone is on the outside of a situation or problem, it is much easier to see solutions that seem infinitely preferable compared to the problem. But if you’re the person involved, it’s you that’s going to be doing all the work, making the changes and managing the consequences, so you want to be sure that before you embark on this, that this is what you want rather than something you think others may want or expect of you. This solution doesn’t just have to be preferable; it has to be compelling, motivating, exciting. It needs to feel like a perfect fit.

In your business, work or life, if you’re not taking advice on board, even when you think it sounds like good advice; if you’re not following through with your intentions; if you’re not implementing the ideas you’ve picked up and so rated; if you’re thinking ‘I know I should’ but not doing; there is a reason. But you won’t be able to see what this reason is if you’re intent on beating yourself up for not pursuing that something. Accept there is a reason and then go about understanding what you want to do rather than what you ‘should’ do. Acceptance is the key to moving on.

If you want to embrace change in any aspect of your life, you need to understand your values and priorities, your motivations and aspirations and only you can know these. Only when you know and accept yourself can you make life and work choices that have a perfect fit.