New Year, same ending?
How many of us set ourselves a New Year’s resolution and as we are saying it, we kind of know it is only going to last the New Year? We have the best intentions every year and then before we know it a year has passed and we have fallen into our same old ways.
This January Sky News reported, that most New Year's resolutions only last 10 days. Why is this? I firmly believe that success relies upon the way we approach the resolution, the way we think about it and how much we believe we will persevere with it. If we set a goal and in the same breath say, ‘this is going to be hard because... I might fail because... I have always failed before,’ then we are almost setting ourselves up to fail.
The power of the subconscious cannot be underestimated. Coue’s Law relates to the times where we want to achieve something but we fear the alternative negative outcome might happen. Our fears and anxieties can often win against our desires and goals.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kTO94wJXQoc In this YouTube clip Derren Brown demonstrates the power of negative suggestion.
Similarly, the power of our beliefs can affect our ability to stick to a New Year’s resolution. If we set our self a goal but in the back of our mind we make excuses for the reasons we might fail to achieve it, then we probably will.
Changing our habits and changing our beliefs
Many people think that they can't change their habits because they are addicted to them. For example, if we believe that we are addicted to chocolate, are we saying we can’t give it up? After all the word addict means “a person who cannot stop doing or using something, especially something harmful”. So if we say we are addicted to something it kind of lets us off the hook, because even the dictionary says ‘cannot stop’. To be brutal, we aren't addicted to chocolate, we love the taste and feel of it. To give it up is a horrible thought and it is far easier to say 'I am addicted and can't stop.'
What’s the solution? Instead of saying ‘I want to give up chocolate but I can’t because I am addicted’, we say ‘I love chocolate and I know it will be difficult but I can give it up because I really want to lose weight.’ Here we are not saying anything negative or fearing failure we are stating a fact that we can give it up, if we want to.
Albert Bandura (1986) a leading psychologist stated:
‘We are unlikely to put in the effort to do what we need to do if we don’t truly believe in our ability to complete a task successfully.’
Life coaches help people to look at things from a new perspective, so they gain valuable insight into the way they think and the habits they have acquired over their lifetime. Coaches help to make positive changes by building up people's confidence and encouraging them to change the way they think about and approach their life.
About the author
Wendy is an inspirational Life Coach and 'Thrive' trainer who is passionate about helping people move forward in their life. If you are feeling stuck, if you suffer from anxiety, OCD, low self-confidence or just need an objective ear then call Wendy and she will help you to achieve your goals.
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Karen Hayns MSc - Future PerfectSeptember 11th, 2017