Improve you self image by making peace with yourself
18th March, 20150 Comments
Written by: Jo Rayner
We can never obtain peace with the outer world until we make peace with ourselves - building confidence
We have all been there – if only I were thinner, if only I were taller, if only my nose was a better shape. if only I were fitter, if only I were better.
Why do we doubt ourselves, criticise ourselves, and constantly shatter any opportunity of positivity with negative thoughts about our own self-image? Verbalising our surroundings to control them, telling ourselves we are not worthy and being fearful of the future. We look at the world through a distorted lens of past experiences, which in turn manipulates the situation rather than seeing the stark facts, the world.
So what is self-image and where does it come from.
It is a mental picture we have of ourselves starting the moment we are born. By the age of about six the concept of who we are, or should I say the concept of who we think we are is so firmly established from the experiences we have had that it becomes our identity and we resist any efforts to change this mindset.
This does not mean that we cannot change this self-image of ourselves, it is a question of challenging our mindset of who we think we are. This self-image affects every responsibility and relationship that we have so it is vital that we view the world through a clear lense rather than a distorted one.
So how can this be achieved?
1. Create an Inventory of the things you love about yourself and the things you would like to change. It is important that you try and balance the list even though you may find creating the positive list about yourself difficult.
2. Identify when this self-image changed. Was there a tipping point when your feelings towards yourself changed?
3. See your thoughts for what they are. The way you think about yourself has a huge influence and impact on your self-esteem. Your thoughts are not your reality. If you keep telling yourself that you are failing, you will start believing it even when it is not true. Focus on the things you can do and love about yourself.
4. Don’t compare yourself to others. It can be really tempting to view others through rose tinted glasses and measure your own self worth against other people. This is unhealthy and unrealistic. Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses, it is just a case of finding your own niche and believing in yourself.
5. Exercise. However hard this may be to start find something your love. Walking, cycling, gardening etc. exercise is simply the best mood changer.
6. It’s about reflection not perfection. As Michael J Fox eloquently states “I am careful not to confuse excellence with perfection. Excellence, I can reach for; perfection is God's business.”
7. Embrace your mistakes. This is how we develop and grow.
8. Surround yourself with supportive people. Take responsibility for the energy you bring to others and ensure you interact with people who bring positive energy rather than taking it away.
We can never obtain peace with the outer world until we make peace with ourselves – Dalai Lama
Jo Rayner Coaching
About the author
Jo has been involved in coaching for over 20 years and her passion in life has been to help individuals and businesses to fulfil their potential, either in their life, career, health, finances or business development. Jo has a diploma in Life Coaching with the UK College of Personal Development and is a member of the Association for Coaching.
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