How to improve your self-confidence in four easy steps

Let me make it clear - even those with self-confidence are regular people with flaws, shortcomings and defects. They too have bad days. However, because they have self-confidence, high self-esteem and self-belief they don’t allow anything to hold them back. Self-confidence is absolutely essential to your work performance a crucial component to creating and maintaining healthy relationships.

We all internalise everything we have been taught as children as true, and then we record this as our own assessment of ourselves. If we were fed negative beliefs from an early age we end up listening to our harsh inner critic, which tells us fibs and often tells us that we are not not worthy or deserving. 

1. Consider yourself important

Those with self-confidence respect themselves. Look inside and observe your shortcomings, but don't be defined by them. When you feel important, you will become authentic and respect your own values instead of compromising them to gain external approval.  

• Dwell on your positive characteristics.
• Constantly remind yourself you are loveable even if you make mistakes.
• Honour, cherish and value your principles.
• Respect your own needs and wants and follow what feels right to you, regardless of others opinions.
• Advertise your strengths, not their weaknesses.

2. Talk to yourself in a kind way

I am sure you wouldn't speak to your closest friends or children in a cruel way, so it is essential you don’t speak to yourself that way. You must praise and acknowledge yourself daily. Accept your imperfections. It is important to remember if you are unkind to yourself, you will subconsciously attract others to be unkind to you. 

• Be aware of your triggers, and limiting beliefs of your harsh inner critic and reframe them.
• Be considerate to yourself.
• Record every single success in a journal – whatever the size.
• Keep repeating to yourself ‘I am worthy’.
• Let go of the addictive need for approval.

3. Trust yourself and your intuition

Be your own master and become best friends with your inner voice. Be in charge of what you think, do and say, as you trust yourself. Remember although your intellectual mind is strong, your intuition is way wiser and far more accurate so train yourself to listen to that quiet little inner voice.

• Know your purpose.
• Keep practising self-discipline.
• Trust your feelings and intuition.
• Listen carefully to your inner voice so it starts getting louder.
• Challenge every negative assumption.

4. Be more assertive

Get feeling comfortable expressing how you feel. Do not waffle, or feel obliged to justify, defend or explain your reasoning. You are worthy, important and deserving. Learn to have an ‘I like you, but I like me too’ approach. Practise facing the other person, looking them in the eye. Watch your words using ‘could’ ‘might’ instead of ‘should’ ‘must’.

• Make sure you don't  allow anxiety to build.
• Decide what you need and ask for it calmly.
• Practise assertiveness in the mirror before approaching someone.
• Speak slowly and in a neutral tone.
• Know your rights before approaching someone.

Final word

This is not a magic formula, you have to make it happen.

Why? - It’s your time to shine.  

If you need extra help, make an appointment with a life coach today.