How do I stop comparing myself to others?
2nd September, 20160 Comments
Written by: Jo Painter AC, Dip LC, NLP Prac, MRPharmS
How do I stop comparing myself to others? This is a question I'm often asked by clients.
As women we often find ourselves falling into the habit of comparing our homes, bodies, careers, children and behaviours to others. Even though I know the dangers involved in being caught in the comparison trap, I still find myself being drawn in.
Picture the scene; I've just come back from a fabulous 2 weeks in Turkey with my family. On the day of arrival, I'm by the pool in my bikini feeling white but relaxed and pretty good. My focus then drifts to other women around the pool and before I know it, I'm in full on 'comparititis' mode! Thoughts like "That's a lovely bikini, but how would it look on me?" or "Wow she has a fabulous figure". These thoughts as observations are harmless, but if I then use them to judge myself against, it will knock my confidence and body image.
So how do you stop this 'comparititis'? It's all about changing your mindset around how you define yourself. Have a read of these quotes:
A flower does not think of competing with the flower next to it, it just blooms. - Zen Shin
The only person you should try to be better than is who you were yesterday. - Unknown
Back to the pool in Turkey. To avoid falling into comparititis, I reminded myself that how other people look has no affect on how I am perceived, how my family love me and my value as a person. Whether a supermodel sits down beside me or not, I am still okay and good enough. I chose not to let any passing negative thoughts affect my self-esteem and instead to look at others with curiosity not judgement.
Does this resonate with you? Do you struggle with comparititis?
About the author
Jo is a leading UK confidence coach, who works with women to help them overcome their self-doubts and build their confidence and self-esteem to achieve things they never imagined they could. Based in Bishops Stortford, Jo offers face to face coaching, Skype and telephone and also online coaching programmes.
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