Has Your Success Changed Your Relationships?
15th November, 20130 Comments
When you get excited about making a positive change in your life, you may worry about the impact it will have on those around you and that worry can stop you from going after the life you want and deserve. Questions like the following may be whizzing through your mind as you consider a change:
- If I lose weight, will people like me less because I will become more attractive?
- If I gain confidence through my career progression will my friends dislike the new me?
- If I make a success of myself or increase my earnings, will people see me and treat me differently?
On the other hand, such questions may not have even been on your radar until your intentional change invited unexpected changes in your relationships. Perhaps now you are feeling like you have learnt more about yourself and others than you ever thought you would know, and perhaps some of it you wished you didn’t know.
All relationships change over time, whether they become closer or more distant, more understanding or more alienating, more secure or more unstable. Circumstances that bring change can act as a catalyst in showing you who you really are at your core and how the people in your life really feel about you.
So are you getting bogged down with all the ‘what ifs’ and letting it stop you from becoming who you want to be? Are you sabotaging your own efforts so as to not upset the apple cart any further? In other words, are you keeping yourself miserable for the sake of not upsetting others who won’t go out and achieve the things that will make them feel great?
What you need to remember is that these changes only take place on a permanent basis in the people who don’t truly care enough about you and your happiness. They may be people who aren’t willing to make changes to increase their own happiness, but that is not your fault. They may be people who feel disappointed with their own lack of achievement, but that is not your fault. They may be people that have a pre-existing inferiority complex, but that is not your fault.
If your changes and successes make someone feel inept or insecure in some way, encourage them to make changes for themselves that will make them happy. Empower them, help them, tell them you believe in them, show them you want the best for them. If after all your compassion, love, and encouragement, the relationship still breaks down, then understand that this was their choice.
Achieving success and happiness is a brilliant way of learning who truly cares for you, so go for what you want; there are only lessons to be learnt.
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Karen Hayns MSc - Future PerfectSeptember 11th, 2017