Everybody deserves to live with confidence and self esteem
27th November, 2012
Written by: Nina Madden
Everybody deserves to live life without self doubt holding them back. Lack of confidence and self esteem is like a thorn in the flesh, an ache that restricts your movement. It stops you from laughing out loud, from expressing yourself, from dancing with the wind, and from loving your friends and family fully.
How can we love fully when the voice within us is a constant reminder that we may not be good enough? That criticizes and puts us down at the mere whisper of abandoning self consciousness for a moment?
This pain of feeling unworthy is an ache that stops us from connecting freely with others. Always fearful of rejection we hold ourselves back from giving freely and with abandon. Many beautiful models, great actors,great singers and performers, wonderful artists, and fantastically warm and loving people who may secretly, deep inside, feel inadequate.
They have achieved amazing things, become wonderful people yet they are not “sold” on their own life. They are buying into a world view where they are the “less than”, a world where they are not good enough.
They may still secretly wonder why their parents never approved. And feel frustrated being a grown adult with your own life, still not free. They compare themselves to their friends who all “made it” or who all became successful and feel that they were the one that failed. They look around at their peers with large houses, big cars and beautiful children, and feel full of regret.
What we do when we compare like this is we create two pictures in our minds – one of “them” and one of “us” and when we compare these two pictures we make conclusions about them in which we come out worse for wear.
In this comparison we are choosing to see ourselves when we are not at our best.Self esteem is so closely linked to our self image- literally the image we hold in our minds of our selves.
This is how we write our “story”. Chances are that the story you have been telling yourself about yourself and your life is not one in which you are a strong hero or heroine overcoming challenges on his or her unique path through life? You may have been telling yourself a story of failure, of missed opportunities, of disappointments and regrets.
In this case, it is time to make the change and begin a different story.
A powerful exercise you can do at home is to start a list of at least 50 things that you are proud of achieving. These should be both small and big things. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks – this is about what you are proud about. Once you have your 50 things – create an imaginary line on the floor and use post it notes, or matches, toothpicks or any other small item as a marker and mark these achievements on the line. As you look at the line with your achievements, go inside and create a strong vivid internal representation of yourself achieving each of those things.
This is how you start to rewrite your own story and will raise your own self image in your own eyes.
You will see yourself in a different light, the light you were meant to view yourself in. You will realize that we all have unique paths though life and you begin to see the purpose and meaning of your.
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