Does fear rule your life?

Research shows that weight-loss, anxiety, depression, addictions and bad relationships are caused primarily through fear...

The human brain is wired to survival and familiarity. It will override happiness, such as leaving a bad relationship, starting a new business or getting rid of anxiety because the unconscious mind is set to repeating habits. These habits are really beliefs about the situations; even though the person is unhappy, this feeling is familiar so change is or can be very frightening.

Now fear can come in many forms, whether through "cotton mouth", heart rate pounding, sweating profusely or even feeling faint.

Fear is universally recognised as a negative emotion that really helps signpost any dangers to us, from a time when large animals could eat us and we were at the mercy of the hostile environment.

Today we still have the psychological and physical symptoms generated by our sympathetic nervous systems, but the causes are very different.

Life today is fast paced with technology, not allowing any of us to relax fully for a moment. With text messages, emails, phone calls and even when you don't answer the phone the dreaded voicemail awaits!

So for some, all of the above communication channels can provoke a fear of some kind, whether it is fear of being judged, fear of a business deal not going through, fear of a loved one berating us or possibly fear of the actual phone losing charge!

Failure is a word associated with fear as it could be fear of failure which is different for each person. The conditioning from school does give the idea from a young age that you need to be first in class, or that the final exams will guage if you are good enough in society.

Goals or goal setting I believe should be taught from a very young age. I am amazed when in the past I have taught at schools, and some youngsters do not understand the value or the implications of having goals in their lives.

The goal getting process takes the individual from a current time to a future date, with a process in between.

Now, I suggest that goals are different for everyone but the outcome can be very similar. Not achieving the goal can put tremendous pressure on you as the individual, such as not dropping a dress size or sealing the business deal, not getting that new client or even a relationship failure.

Language is very powerful and changing the word, failure to feeding back that goals in life is similar to homeostasis in the human body, means the internal environment of the body is never really constant, but fluctuates, adapting to the outside world. If feedback and the real nuts and bolts of goal setting, is taught early in childhood, it would possibly condition people to be less likely to have panic attacks with an apathy to continue when their goals are not reached.

Goals do need to be broken down into manageable chunks to allow at least a small foothold towards success. I think the biggest culprit of fear is also the fact that the conscious mind thinks it is in control, despite your subconscious mind really driving you through your own programme, conditioned through years of experiences and beliefs.

Reasons are needed to give you motivation towards a goal and it is proven that if your motivation is great enough, you will and can achieve anything which to others may seem impossible.

Ecology is a big part of your success, your new goal success may even have a positive affect on your partner, loved ones and/or friends.

Checking each week to see if you are on track with your goals, with a view that being flexible is a great strength to have and understanding that life will throw you a curve ball occasionally will ensure you have enough support to achieve your goals and aspirations.

Regards,

Dominic Borsberry.