Do you struggle to say No?
27th August, 2009
No is a Complete sentence.
• Do you ever try to be superwoman and end up resenting saying Yes when you mean No?
• Do you find you overcommit yourself?
• Do you find you often attract needy people?
• Do you feel the need to be needed?
• Do you feel more comfortable giving then receiving?
• Do you secretly feel angry others don’t do the same for you?
• Do you feel a lot of guilt if you say No to a request for help?
I would like to ask some thought provoking questions for any of you who race around putting everyone else before yourself.
OK, so let’s take a look at this behaviour. Why do so many women feel they have to do everything expected of them? Why do they feel their family or office will collapse if they say No?
Before we start thinking, well it’s selfish to say No, and it’s rude to turn down someone requesting help, and I enjoy helping others anyways, let’s look at this another way. Isn’t it a tiny bit arrogant to think that people cannot manage without us? Do we feel no one can do things as well as us, or do we feel a great sense of superiority that others depend on us?
Get honest here. Is there an ego attached here, in that we secretly feel if we don’t run around doing xyz, then we will be redundant and won’t be needed so much, and then who will pay attention to us?
Do we feel that insecure that we don’t truly believe people at work or at home would give us much time or attention if we are not helping them in one way or another or being of service?
Is it really vital you are seen as being oo soooo ‘nice’ and if you say No, then you need to justify or defend so you can explain how nice you are and that you would never offend anyone?
Would you feel riddled with guilt and shame if you turned down a request, or do you worry you may loose friends, and family members may turn against you?
Do you fear being alone and keep saying Yes and bending yourself to everyone else’s requirements?
I would like you to take some time to sit down and truly think about how many times in the last few weeks you said Yes, but meant No.
Be vigorously honest my friend, otherwise nothing will change.
About the author
Annie is a successful corporate trainer, speaker, master hypnotherapist. Clients include household names in the corporate and celebrity worlds. She is author of 'the confidence factor', an expert on TV and featured in press. Annie runs regular workshops and coaches groups online, whilst working with a select number of one to one clients.
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