Can a coach help me to find self-approval?
All personal development coaches can help you find self-approval, so you can raise self confidence and self-esteem.
A coach will explain the difference between self-approval and ego as it is essential to always keep in mind that those with self-approval never need to judge, criticize or bully others. Successful people do not need to justify their existence nor be party to interrogation. They disapprove of pretension and hypocrisy. Self-approval, intention and self-belief are powerful factors.
A coach will offer you techniques to help you appreciate yourself – and accept all your faults and foibles, help you to approve and appreciate your self-worth, take pride in your accomplishments and to not set yourself unrealistic expectations.
A coach can offer you techniques so that if others do not choose you for a job or as a partner on a dating site, you won't take it personally as you learn how to accept others’ likes or dislikes, approval and rejection are not tied up with your own values and emotions, and so you won't need to let their opinions become a reason to reject yourself.
A coach will help you learn how to understand and accept the comments and actions of others are merely information about that person’s views and opinions. It doesn’t mean they are facts – it means they are opinions.
Coaching will help you learn the paradox is that the more you look to be liked, the less authentic you become and then the less you are liked. Seeking approval is not a good look, and, in essence, when you do this you are giving away your ability to feel your own feelings, make your own decisions, and think your own thoughts. Successful people have fears and have inner critics but they don’t allow them to destabilise them.
By having coaching sessions you will learn invaluable insights such as - successful people are visionaries and you can be too if you want to be. Even if you are not interested in being an entrepreneur, you can be much more successful in your personal and professional relationships by mastering self-approval. It’s not all about becoming rich with money. As the gorgeous Jessie J sings: ‘It’s not about the money.’
You can become rich in inner belief, confidence, strength, kindness, wisdom and knowledge, once you build a strong relationship with yourself, which coaching can help you do.
Ask yourself the questions listed below.
- Why would you need to ask permission from someone else to be who you are?
- Why would you believe others know what’s best for you?
- Why would you believe everyone has your best interests at heart?
- Why would you ask advice from others who don’t have what you want?
- Why would you look for approval outside of yourself?
- Why would you compare and despair?
- Why would you pretend to be anyone else, except yourself?
- Why would you give your power away to others?
- Why would you not believe what you believe?
- Why would you go cap in hand to somebody and place their opinion above your own?
Have a good long think about these questions and if you decide to hire a coach, take these with you, and they will help you to re frame any of them which no longer serve you.
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Lorna Payne - LMP TherapyNovember 7th, 2017