7 Steps to Boost Self Esteem
Why are some people happier, more confident and positive?
What is self – esteem?
Many believe in order to boost self – esteem, they have to have:
a perfect figure
a huge income
a fabulous car
Let's get real with ourselves
Everyone has flaws, but to boost self esteem you have to accept your flaws and value yourselves taking pride in your accomplishments.
What are the effects of low self – esteem?
Those with low self - esteem mope and complain how 'unfair' things are and stay stuck often sabotaging the good things in their life as they don’t feel worthy. They suffer from anxiety, stress, loneliness and even low level depression. Many binge drink, compulsively eat and don't take care of themselves.
How can this be?
If you were a child that was criticised harshly, mocked or ridiculed, emotionally or physically abused or ignored, the chances are you will suffer from low self –esteem.
Annie's 7 Top Tips:
1. You Must Consider Yourself Importance
It is crucial you respect yourself and feel comfortable with being authentic. Imagine you are wearing an invisible badge saying ‘I am more than enough’. Keep a list adding to it daily - ‘I am worthy because’, then each day write at least one thing you like about yourself.
2. You Must Cultivate Self – Compassion
Start being kind to your mind. I am sure you don't speak to your closest friends unkindly, so why speak to yourself that way? Lighten up about your imperfections. If you had a child learning to walk who constantly fell over you wouldn’t berate them, you would laugh and hug them and champion them so laugh and hug and champion yourself.
3. Always Take Your Own Inventory
You cannot change what you are not aware of. List 10 strengths and 10 weaknesses. Sure, you may have met a lot of people and now it’s time to meet you. Become vigorously honest about the list and observe it without judgment. Embrace yourself, regardless of your mistakes, err's or weaknesses. People don't realise by revealing their true self they become more valuable to themselves and others.
4. From Today - Stop Picking on Yourself
Stop right now - picking on yourself as this will erode your self-confidence and self esteem. Separate who you are from what you have done. Face any mistakes and learn from them; embrace who you are, what you think, feel and believe. You are perfectly imperfect.
5. Quit Comparing and Despairing
The only comparing you ought to do is compare where you are now from where you were and acknowledge how far you have come. When you recognise qualities you like in others, kindness, smartness, sensitivity, discipline, passion, motivation it is because you have these qualities too or you wouldn't recognise them. Open your own wrapping and discover your own gifts. The only person you need to compete against is YOU. I can assure you all that glitters is NOT gold.
6. Discover Your Internal Compass
Very few have been encouraged to trust their intuition and instead are encouraged to disregard their gut feelings. I do not suggest you ignore all advice, but it is crucial you trust yourself and your inner voice, and don't race around town giving away our power saying 'fix me, you are way smarter than me, and more important than me’. BACK TRACK - instead discover your internal compass and I promise you that you will boost your self -esteem.
7. Make an Amend to Yourself
Set aside some time to list every unkind word you have ever said to yourself, and list all the times you have neglected yourself, let others to speak down to you, or speak over you, humiliate you or be cruel to you. List every time you have made promises to yourself and let yourself down. List each wrong you have done to yourself especially those that have plagued you for years. Fill a bath with water, light a candle, and let it burn out so it dissolves in the water and say sorry to yourself whilst giving yourself a hug and letting go.
My Final word
You will boost self esteem by reframing the messages you tell yourself. I hope you find the peace and joy I have found with a clear mind and a steady heart, however these 7 tips are not a magic formula - you need to apply them.
YOU CAN DO IT.
GO - Make it happen - It’s your time to shine.
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Karen Hayns MSc - Future PerfectSeptember 11th, 2017