Five keys to instantly increase confidence
13th June, 20140 Comments
Do you wish you had more confidence?
You have to go beyond your comfort zone and summon up the courage to change?
Apply these five keys and watch your confidence rocket.
- Pulling on your boots of self-awareness.
- Keeping the halogen light on your behaviour.
- Dropping reactions and taking actions.
- Making smarter choices.
- Leaving the past behind you.
Be aware of your feelings, thoughts, behaviours and actions. They belong to you and you act them out. Self-awareness is the prerequisite to change. Step back from your busy schedule and reflect about who you are and what your strengths and weaknesses are.
It’s very empowering to self-reflect. Bad habits keep you imprisoned, so you have to monitor your feelings and behaviour as they are key to self-regulation. Remember: unconscious choices are reactions; conscious choices are responses. Teenagers react. If you are an adult, why would you want to behave like a teenager?
Unless someone physically forces you, no one can make you do anything against your will. Own your power rather than giving it away. Others may get irritated if things don’t work out and blame you or verbally attack you. Unless you can shine a light on your behaviour, chances are that you will be seduced, tricked and manipulated into doing what pleases them.
You may feel angry inside, angry at yourself, but if you are in denial and not in touch with your feelings, or your behaviour, you won't be able to see it. Until you take full responsibility, become aware of what works for you and what doesn’t - and act accordingly, doing what is best for you and what feels right for you - you cannot increase your confidence.
Ask for feedback and stop being such a martyr. Don’t struggle to find your way in the dark if you have access to a lamp and can lean over and switch it on. Successful people understand that their real strength lies in their vulnerability. Ask trusted friends if they can see anything in you that maybe you can’t see in yourself. Every time something triggers strong reactions in you, check your emotions, feelings and thoughts to see whether they are supporting you or encumbering you. While you are discovering yourself, be gentle on yourself.
Be completely honest with yourself. Change requires self-motivation - are you clear about what you want to change and what you don’t want to change? What will happen if you do change and what will happen if you don’t? There is a difference between choosing not to do something and choosing to do nothing.
Wanting to change your life is not enough. Fear is the force that keeps you stuck. Are you talking about what you want but not taking action? Each of us created our present situation by the choices we made in the past. Courage is the key.We cannot expect things to change if we are scared of uncertainty.
What has happened in the past has happened. Why would you want to waste time and energy discussing and analysing what you cannot change? Negative thoughts and emotions have no place in your life. When you are your own person and love yourself, you are not caught up in negative thinking, you begin to have more self-worth and improve your relationships with others and trust yourself more. You also become strategic in the way you make decisions.
So here's the thing
Take informed risks, take others' advice yet make your own decisions. Be relentlessly driven in pursuit of your goals rather than lying on the sofa, planning, analysing, worrying and going around in circles. Get proactive, get productive, make a choice and just do it.
The only way to banish fear is to walk through it. Don’t tell me it is all about luck and it’s OK for those that have it. I don’t buy into that. I believe that fear has become all too easy to use as an excuse these days. Many people will try to persuade you to stay small because they lack confidence and feel uncomfortable when you want to take a leap of faith, and so they transfer their fear onto you.
Be aware that when you try to hide your weaknesses through fear, they will become more powerful and more visible.
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