Life Coach Directory » Family

Early affection helps children to better cope with adult stress

Emma Hilton — Fri, 30 Jul 2010 08:00:11 +0000

Receiving lots of affection as a young child could help us to better cope with the stresses and strains of adult life, says a recent study.

These findings come from a study of almost 500 people, from the US state of Rhode Island, who were studied as children and then again as adults.

The study began with eight month old children and their mothers receiving a psychologist rating based on the quality of their interactions during a routine developmental check up.

The psychologist judged how well the mother responded to her child’s emotions and needs before giving an ”affection score” which was based on the warmth of their interaction.

Thirty years down the line the researchers revisited the child participants who were now adults, and asked them to take part in a survey about their well-being and emotions.

The survey involved questions about whether they believed their mothers had been affectionate towards them and they could respond with answers ranging from ”strongly agree” to ”strongly disagree”.

After analysing the results the researchers found that the children who received the most affection were the ones who dealt with anxiety the most effectively compared to those of emotionally cold mothers.

The researchers believe the study contributes to a growing body of research which suggests that the early childhood years are what sets the stage for later experiences in life, though other influencing factors such as personality and upbringing could not be ruled out.

Are obese children cause for child protection intervention?

Emma Hilton — Fri, 23 Jul 2010 08:00:36 +0000

Experts on children’s health are saying parents of obese children are guilty of neglect and failure to instil a good diet and exercise could become a child protection issue.

Parents who avoid weight management initiatives, ignore advice and guidance from professionals and fail to help their child eat and exercise properly could make them guilty of neglect.

Though experts at the UCL Institute of Child Health in London say that weight itself is not a reason for authorities to get involved, they have suggested it may be appropriate to consider the child protection register if the parents consistently fail to adopt suggested changes to the family’s lifestyle and will not actively participate in outside help.

In an article featured in the British Medical Journal, UCL highlighted how if a parent fails to provide their children with treatment for a chronic illness such as diabetes, this is classed as a form of neglect and grounds for a child protection registration.

This could involve not turning up to appointments or failing to get involved with healthcare staff or various other professionals.

Dr Russell Viner of UCL has said he and his colleagues plan to review all of the evidence to search for a link between neglect and childhood obesity as currently no guidelines exist for professionals.

On the opposing side many are saying removing children from their parents may only make matters worse, as studies have found that 37% of children in care were overweight or obese with half having put on the weight after being put into care.

Viner has said that before a child would be put on the register there would have to be clear evidence over a sustained period that parents were not complying with a treatment plan.

Why eat at the table?

Emma Hilton — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 08:00:42 +0000

Our children learn from the examples we as adults set for them and it is often the simplest of things that will help them along in their development.

Recent research has suggested that work commitments flout 52 percent of people’s dinner plans, whilst 91 percent of people believe dinner was the best time to catch up with family.

Gathering round a table to eat as a family teaches children to develop social skills such as etiquette and will also encourage them to develop their conversation in a very natural environment.

It is very typical for children of a young age to mirror the behaviour of their parents or another adult during mealtimes, so what better opportunity is there to provide them with a perfect example of immaculate social skills?

One of the best things about this simple tip is that it brings the family together even if for only a short while per day. Family meals are hugely interesting and dynamic, so voice opinions and feelings and reconnect with the family. Many of us spend far less time with our families than we would like to so use this time wisely to find out about each others likes, dislikes and general life.

As mentioned earlier etiquette and manners are an important feature of upbringing so the basic skill of learning to use a knife and fork can be learned in a very natural environment.

Parenting and child behavioural expert Eileen Hayes says: ‘For many families the evening meal is the best opportunity to spend quality time together. Eating the meal on the sofa in front of the TV can reduce the opportunities for communication between family members and impact on the development of children’s social skills and good family relationships.’

So next time the dinner has just finished cooking and you are all ready to go and sit in front of the T.V, why not set the table and enjoy some good quality family time?

How to avoid holiday tension

Emma Hilton — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 08:00:03 +0000

A recent letter featured in the Telegraph tackled the tricky topic of how to avoid tension whilst holidaying with another family.

The Telegraphs relationship expert Sarah Abell highlighted certain ways of ensuring everyone enjoys themselves.

Before you go make sure both families have had the opportunity to discuss their expectations. Everyone wants different things from their holiday and whereas some may like to lay in the sun reading a good thriller others may want to go hiking up a mountain. If you all know where you stand you can ether decide to compromise and try each others activities or have a couple of days where you all do your own thing or both.

If you decide to compromise and try out each other activities then be gracious. Yes, perhaps an 8 mile trek in the blistering heat to a monastery on a hillside isn’t your cup of tea but don’t complain and watse your time wishing you were doing something else because quite frankly, no one likes a whiner! Also remember that there will be days when you will definitely be doing what you want.

In terms of eating arrangements agree on whats happening before you go. Perhaps your family are on a budget holiday and would prefer to cook from the villa/cottage/apartment etc and your friends have saved up some spending money for a week of no cooking luxury. This is fine as long as you make each other aware of your intentions. If children are involved take shared responsibility. Perhaps one couple could make the children a nice home cooked meal whilst the other enjoys a romantic night out alone and vice versa.

If you are on a budget make this clear from the beginning to avoid embarrassment in the future. You certainly won’t look back fondly on the holiday which saw you splitting an expensive dinner bill 50/50 when you ordered the cheapest thing on the menu, or when you had to shell out for an expensive excursion. Perhaps make a small kitty for essentials such as toiletries and basics such as bread and milk.

Perhaps one family is very laid back in terms of clearing up, shopping and small jobs. If this is something you can envisage annoying you then set up a little rota to keep things fair and to get the children involved.

Be flexible, both parties will have a set of rules at home and for the sake of harmony both should relax them a little over the holidays. Decide before you go what your not prepared to compromise on, e.g. children’s bedtimes.

Finally, if children are involved then focus solely on disciplining your own. Giving your friends parenting tips will not go down well as nobody likes to be told how to bring up their children. If an awkward situation arises where yours friends child starts a spat with yours then instead of disciplining them or disapprovingly asking their own parents to step in, simply whisk your own child away.

Try and maintain a good sense of humour, letting things that would usually wind you up go over your head. After all this is only one-two weeks of your life.

Thirty extra minutes in bed cuts sleepiness and depression in teens

Emma Hilton — Mon, 12 Jul 2010 12:35:23 +0000

A recent study from the US has found that delaying the start of school by just half an hour can improve sleep patterns in teens, reduce drowsiness and lift mood, reports the Guardian.

We now know that a teenagers tendency to stay up late and wake up late is actually to do with puberty shifting their body clock as opposed to simply a bad and lazy attitude. The changes teens experience during puberty mean they struggle to sleep before 11p.m and find it hard to wake in the morning as they still require around 9 hours of sleep per night.

The new study has investigated the effect of an extra half an hour in bed by asking students to complete a questionnaire at the end of a three month study.

Delaying the school start time by half an hour resulted in participating students getting an average of 45 minutes of extra sleep on school nights due to a later wake up time and the surprising side effect of going to sleep 15 minutes earlier.

Additional results found that the amount of pupils falling asleep or having difficulty staying awake fell from 85 per cent to 60. Lateness also experienced a drop of around half and pupils who had previously said they were unhappy or depressed dropped from 65 per cent to 45 per cent.

If you are concerned about your child’s sleeping habits then there are certain things you could do to encourage sleep. Make sure distractions such as mobile phones, video games etc are switched of and that the bedroom is a quiet, dark and cool room.

If you are worried that your child may be suffering with depression then please visit your GP who will be able to make a formal diagnosis before advising you on the best course of treatment.

Primary schools turn to life coaching

Emma Hilton — Thu, 08 Jul 2010 12:09:09 +0000

School’s are calling in assistance from life coaches to help children as young as seven improve their learning and self-esteem, reports the Daily Mail.

Demand for life coaches within the education system has grown at such a pace that one company has ten times the amount of business they had this time last year.

Life coaching organisation Positively MAD (Making A Difference) is currently working with around 1,000 primary and secondary schools throughout the UK.

Directory of the company, Mark Stafford has said requests from schools are pouring in as they believe the holistic approach could help to support children and improve their self image.

Stafford explains the framework for coaching, which revolves around three core skills, setting goals for success, taking responsibility and raising self-esteem and self image.

‘Often it stems from their parents divorcing and other common issues include low self-esteem, bullying, problems forging friendships, concentration, anxiety and aggression.’ He said.

Though the schemes are receiving some criticism from those who believe parents should be handling their child’s issues directly, generally many believe it to be very effective.

It would also seem that it is not exclusively schools contacting life coaches but parents too. Children face a huge amount of pressure when they go to school, personal issues, bullying, anxiety, self-loathing. These are extremely intense problems that many parents do not know how to tackle alone and this is where they turn to professional coaches.

Gladeana McMahon, chairman of the Association for Coaching UK, which has more than 3,000 members, said: ‘The more the coaching gets used, the more people realise the value of it.’

Reduce the pain of divorce

Emma Hilton — Tue, 22 Jun 2010 08:00:57 +0000

The break up of a long term relationship can be extremely painful, a pain which only grows with the dividing and deconstructing of a life together, children, finances and your home. It is understandable that the last person you will want to sit down with for a rational conversation is your ex partner, but things need to be resolved and there are ways of making the process more bearable.

First and foremost if it is possible to avoid getting the law involved then this is the best path to follow. Many couples seek legal action post break-up as they feel that things should be distributed fairly. However the process is lengthy and won’t only drain your finances but your emotions too. Unfortunately in many cases things turn bitter and resentful if the judge imposes an order that doesn’t reflect what you had wanted.

Where possible seek help from a mediator. A mediator is an asset in a situation such as this as they will discourage emotional baggage and instead will enable couples to focus on the practical issues which need resolving. They will also help you to come to an ‘agreement’ regarding custody and visitation of the children, finances, the house, material goods etc and once an understanding has been reached an ‘agreement’ can be drawn up and given to the couples respective lawyers.This can then become a court order if the couple wish.

It is essential that the process see’s that both partners are heard. Often one party may feel ‘unacknowledged’ and this only leads to harsh words said in the heat of the moment which ultimately results in no closure being reached. Mediation will help to prevent these kinds of uncomfortable encounters and will instead make sure each person is heard so a conclusion can be reached.

After mediation is complete each party can liaise with their own solicitors to discuss whether the understanding they are reaching will stand up in court. The solicitor will be able to offer advice on what is on offer and therefor if the ‘agreement’ is given the thumbs up it has been done so with the benefit of legal advice.

If you are going through a difficult divorce or breakup and would like to seek the help of a coach then please use the search tool on the homepage of this site to locate a coach in your area. For more information on divorce coaching click here.

Debt worries force new mums back to work

Emma Hilton — Mon, 21 Jun 2010 12:29:43 +0000

Over half of all new mums decide to return to work as a result of mounting financial pressure, with 56% admitting they were unprepared for the financial impact of having a child, reports the Guardian.

52% of new mothers return to work after the birth of a child because of financial worries with one in 10 doing so before the end of their planned maternity leave.

Comparison website uSwitch found that the average net household income drops 34% from £3,431 to £2,266 a month whilst on statutory maternity pay. This time also see’s costs rocketing as parents spend money during the run up to the birth on baby items with an extra £2,152 spent before the birth and an extra £2,521 spent post both.

Financial worries forced 9% of mums back to work early and caused 9% to rethink their plans of being a stay at home mum with 40% accepting a pay cut so they could work part time.

Only 21% of new mums believed their opportunity for progression and earning capacity had been unaffected by their maternity leave.

Unfortunately the current financial climate, plans to cut child trust funds, the budget, pay freezes and redundancies all result in a huge amount of pressure on new families, often meaning new parents are having to change their plans and accept spending less time with their newborns.

If you are concerned about the financial implications of starting a family or you are struggling in your current situation then one option to consider is contacting a financial coach. They will be able to help you understand your current situation and if you are in debt how have you got here and how will you overcome it? They will also be able to help you to plan your finances so that the money you do have goes as far as it possibly can.

To read more about Financial/Money coaching please click here.

Former police chief to share life advice

Emma Hilton — Mon, 14 Jun 2010 13:39:49 +0000

The UK’s first ever female chief constable Pauline Clare will be sharing her life coaching skills with everyone over the internet.

The former Lancashire Police chief constable who retired back in 2002 has now retrained as a consultant specialising in working with top business executives and holding life and team coaching sessions.

Mrs Clare aims to work with individual’s and businesses teaching them how to make the best out of themselves and their employees and she is using much of the things she learned whilst on the beat to help people to do so.

The 10 minute tips blog was created in order to help women by giving them bite sized tips which can be implemented in their everyday lives and include snippets of advice on anything from beauty and hair right through to relationships and style tips.

The blog is also an area where women can voice their opinions and concerns and can be viewed here: www.10minutetips.co.uk

View the original article here.

Research shows a regular bedtime equals smarter children

Emma Hilton — Tue, 08 Jun 2010 08:00:42 +0000

A recent study has found that children who go to bed the same time each night are likely to be more intelligent.

The study was conducted by scientists at SRI International, an independent , non-profit research institute based in California. In the largest study of its kind to date the experts centred their study on developmental outcomes of children aged four, looking at around 8,000 children who completed a developmental assessment.

The findings showed that those who had a regular bedtime were the better at languages, reading and maths and they also found that those who went to bed even earlier stood a higher chance of picking things up at a faster pace. In contrast to this, pre-school children who had less than the recommended 11 hours sleep had a higher risk of falling behind.

Experts have recommended that parents set an appropriate bedtime for their children so they are receiving a sufficient amount of sleep each night.