We’re all guilty of wondering how ‘he’ managed to snag ‘her’, the modelesque beauty hand in hand with the plump, 5ft something ‘beast’.

According to a new study published in the Psychological Science journal, some unattractive men get by purely on the unfettered belief that they are far more attractive than they  really are, making them more likely to approach beautiful women.

Forget protein shakes, forget hair transplant surgery, forget that secret tub of Nivea – the key to dating a beautiful woman is simply unbridled arrogance.

The results come from a study of 96 male and 103 female undergraduate students given 3 minutes to talk to each of 5 members of the opposite sex.

Before the experiment started, they were asked to rate all 5 ‘dates’ on their attractiveness. After the dates, they were asked to rank how attracted they thought their dates were to them.

The researchers concluded that: ‘Essentially, men who rated themselves high on attractiveness were more likely to overperceive women’s interest. The more attractive they actually were to women, however, the more likely they were to underperceive.”

The results also revealed how women tended to underestimate how attracted men are to them. The researchers have speculated as to whether this could be an innate mechanism designed to deflect unwanted sexual interest and appear more choosy in order to single out the best potential mate.

So if you are an attractive woman wondering why the tall dark and handsome men never approach you, it could be because they don’t feel worthy enough!

Of course, physical attraction is subjective and should never determine one’s feelings of worthiness or confidence. As this study demonstrates – your confidence depends more on how you feel than how you look.

If you are feeling particularly unconfident or unable to approach the opposite sex, you may benefit from speaking with a life coach. A life coach can help you build on your qualities and help you to see your worth and merit in order to fulfill your potential. To find out more about how a life coach might be able to help, take a look at our Confidence/Self-Belief section.

View and comment on the original Telegraph article here.  

Love handles, muffin tops, beer-bellies, overhang, middle-aged-spread … all terms favoured by the media for that unwanted belly fat so many of us seem to have.

A survey recently named excess belly fat as the UK’s biggest body hang-up (or hang-over?). So the most logical way to beat the bulge it is to jump on the Swiss-Ball and crack out 100 sit ups a day, right?

Wrong, according to Gareth Cole, head of education at the Third Space gym in London’s Soho. He says by focusing too hard on the ‘core’ muscles, people neglect other important muscle groups integral for fitness and health.

Another fitness expert, Jean-Claude Vacassin, agrees. He says: “There is a place for sit-ups but not for people who spend a lot of time hunched over a desk. If your lower back is often rounded – spinal flexion – you don’t want to create more flexion. To say it is all about core training is like looking at the world through a straw.”

Millions of people in the UK spend all day shackled to their office desks, often hunched over their screens. This only increases the likelihood of injury when they do finally get a chance to exercise.

Although spending 15 minutes in the morning doing sit ups may seem like a good idea, doing isolated exercises can lead to back problems caused by damaged spinal discs.

Sports rehabilitator Christnoel Buhay believes men are more likely to get obsessed about the abs because they tend to only train the muscles they can see. A man’s typical training session focusses on the chest and biceps, whereas he should be looking to open up his posture by strengthening the lower back instead.

So what exercise should we be doing to fight the flab? Gareth Cole suggests trying something called the ‘Plank Matrix’:

Start in the basic plank position, then roll onto your side and lift each of your legs into the air in turn. This will strengthen the muscles around the spine and improve your posture.

Other recommended exercises include lunges, squats, push-ups and dead-lifts.

So the moral of the story? Vary your workout – try not to focus too much on just one area because this could lead to injury.

Some life coaches specialise in personal training. If you would like to find one, simply type ‘personal training’ into the box on the top right hand side of the homepage, titled ‘search entire site’. 

View and comment on the original London Evening Standard article.

We now know for certain from research that the dramatic reduction in sunlight hours during winter can have a serious physical and emotional impact upon the human body.

With the clocks now having gone back, the number of hours during which we are exposed to natural sunlight has been reduced, a change which will have a serious impact on the energy levels of many individuals up and down the country.

With the average worker waking up in darkness and returning home in darkness, it’s no surprise that people are beginning to feel less energetic and are craving more sleep.

During the summer months the body learns to react to certain light cues from the sun, producing active and energetic hormones when the body clock receives the right type of light so that our energy cycles will be regulated. A perfect example of this is waking in the morning. During the summer months the rising sun is a natural cue for us to wake and for the body to begin producing the hormones that are required to help us wake and feel active. During the winter we wake without this natural light signal, without which the body struggles to stimulate the production of the necessary hormones.

The feel good hormone serotonin also takes its cue from natural light, which could be why almost one in five of the UK population have reported feeling unenergetic and low between September and April each year.

Sunlight is key to our happiness so if you are feeling lethargic and low during the colder months of the year then make a conscious effort to get outside into the daylight at least once everyday.

Stepping out of your warm office or cosy home and into sub-zero temperatures may not seem that appealing, but even just 10 minutes worth of sunlight each day could really make a difference to your overall mood.

Individuals who are experiencing symptoms of depression during the winter months may be suffering from a condition know as Seasonal Affective Disorder, a serious and debilitating form of the winter blues which can prevent sufferers from going about their everyday lives as normal.

If you are concerned that you or someone you know may be suffering from Seasonal Affective Disorder, your first port of call should be you GP who will be able to diagnose your condition and refer you for appropriate treatment.

View and comment the original BBC News article.

Leading mental health charity ‘Mind’ advocates the great outdoors as a great way to improve mental health.

Research shows that as the clocks go back in October, beginning a long winter of dark afternoons, our happiness levels drop due to the reduction in sunlight.

According to Mind, our habitual patterns of sleep, appetite, sex drive, temperature, mood and activity rely on natural light cycles, so when light cycles change, so do we.

Many of us feel less inclined to exercise, socialise or get out of bed in general during the winter months, and this can have a drastic impact on our mental wellbeing.

‘Ecotherapy’, otherwise known as being outside, increases our exposure to sunlight and therefore can have a positive impact on our moods. Some research shows that physical exercise can be as equally effective as anti-depressants in treating mild to moderate depression and anxiety.

Mind’s ‘ecotherapy’ campaign is being supported by the Holly Willoughby of the vegetable patch, Gardener’s World’s Rachel de Thame.

Rachel has said: “At this time of year it is vital that we all take advantage of the therapeutic effects of the great outdoors and look after our own mental wellbeing. As winter approaches, I will definitely be out rain or shine and hope you too will give it a go.”

Exercise has many benefits, from releasing feel-good hormones, to increasing energy levels, to improving physical fitness- thus probably improving self-confidence.

Mind has organised group activities known as Ecominds projects, where people can meet up and get involved in the great outdoors. The schemes are funded by £7.5 million worth of Big Lottery money, and provides 130 outdoor exercise projects across England. The projects are designed to improve the confidence and self esteem of those suffering from mental health problems, and involve activities like walking, farming and gardening.

If you would like to read and comment on the full article, or find out more about Mind’s campaign, please visit the Mind website.

A new report has highlighted the troubling extent of unhappiness in the UK workplace.

According to the study by recruitment company Badenoch & Clark,  just over a third of the 1000 workers surveyed were happy with their current jobs and 1 quarter confessed that they felt ‘distinctively unhappy’ at work.

Happiness at work is currently high on government agenda in light of the Prime Minister’s research into UK happiness levels earlier this year. Due to the economic impact of ill-health caused by stress and unhappiness, workplace happiness has become a top 5 concern in the UK and is recognized as a ‘critical business issue’.

According to Nicola Linkleter, managing director of Badenoch & Clark, the emerging lack of happiness in the workplace can be attributed to a number of factors, including longer hours, additional financial strain at work and at home, and a lack of tangible job security.

“Organisations must now take action to create a working environment where employees are able to develop a sense that their work is both valuable and valued. Failure to do so may result in loss of talent, which in turn may lead to loss of potential revenue”, Nicola stated.

If you are one of the 2/3 of unhappy workers in the UK, a Life Coach could help you. It is estimated that a staggering 1/3 of our lives will be spent in the workplace, highlighting the severity of this UK-wide issue. A Life Coach educated in business coaching can help set goals, iron out problems and help individuals realise their potential in the workplace. Please visit the Life Coach Directory homepage and use the search tool, or for more information, visit our page about business coaching. 

Visit the original Press Association article.

The first thing to remember, is that some things are out of your control. If you remember this simple fact, you are less likely to find yourself agitated and stressed. Of course, people can knock you down and give you unnecessary grief, but if you stop and take deep breaths, you may find yourself getting less upset with these things. Do whatever you can to deal with situations within your control, but try to stay calm when something happens which you can’t do anything about.

One of the main ways of ensuring you get the most out of your life is to create a list of goals and achievements. These can be small goals and big goals, for short periods and long periods of time. For instance, you may want to pass your driving test, develop your own website, find a new job, etc. Writing these down gets them clear in your head and makes them seem more achievable. As you complete these goals, you can score them off your list, and you’ll be surprised at what you have achieved within the year.

To get the most out of your life, it is also important to ensure you make plenty of time for yourself, to do the things you enjoy. Take time to see your friends at least once as week, and do simple things such as treating yourself to a regular beauty treatment, or just enjoying a long hot soak in the bath, so you can gather your thoughts.

Last time we checked 1,715 Daybreak viewers had pledged to give a day of their own time to helping out one of a number of charities including Age UK, Save the Children, Alzheimer’s Society, Barnardos, NSPCC, Make a Wish Foundation, MacMillan Cancer Support and MIND to name but a few.

Prime Minster David Cameron visited the Daybreak sofa to help launch the campaign and spoke about how both he and the rest of the Number 10 Downing Street team pledged some time to helping out charity Street League, an organisation hoping to change lives through the medium of football.

Cameron said he wasn’t much of a dab hand at football training so instead helped give some interview training and practice to some teenagers going for jobs.

“You get an enormous amount out of it yourself”, he said. Adding that volunteering plays a role in his idea of ‘the big society’ in which we all look after each other and look for ways of putting back into our community.

For more information about the campaign and to pledge donate a day please visit the Daybreak website.

Everyday is a school day – Learning new things is what keeps our brain active and ticking over, so make an effort to learn something new everyday. It doesn’t have to be something big or difficult, it can be something as simple as finally finding out the name of a song you like, or learning a simple baking recipe.

Spend time with friends – Personal relationships are a huge source of happiness in our lives and generally good solid friendships tend to increase our contentment. There are lots of ways to let our friends know how much they mean to us, perhaps write them a letter or a funny card, or buy them a token gift to put a smile on their face.

Don’t let grumpiness consume you – Admittedly it is easier said than done, but when you are in a bad mood try not to concentrate and replay the negatives. Instead try distracting yourself by thinking of a positive memory for at least five minutes.

Feed your mind – If you switch your TV on as soon as you get home from work and spend the rest of the evening cocooned on the sofa watching soaps then turn it off for a while and switch your brain on. Get into a great book, do a spot of knitting or engross yourself in a crossword or some suduko, anything to keep the brain active.

Keep your glass half full – Try to make every day a happy day. Happiness isn’t something we have if we are ‘lucky’ it is essential for a healthy life so don’t sit around waiting for it to come to you, plan activities in your daily life that make you happy. Simple things such as a relaxing bubble bath, a cup of tea in your favourite bone china cup or even walking your dog.

For the original article and full list of tips please click here.

Create distance
The notion of keeping a separation ‘friendly’ is a nice one but impractical. It will not help to stay in touch with your spouse and if it is absolutely necessary (children, shared business) be sure to keep contact to practical negotiations.

Don’t hold back
Make your feelings and position clear from the word go. It often helps to explain our anger and though this doesn’t mean screaming and shouting, discharging pent up emotion will help you to deal with the business side of divorce.

Grieve
Even if your separation marks the end of unhappiness it also spells the end of a dream and the idea you would be with your spouse forever. It’s OK to feel sad about this and don’t try to stop your grief because it’s a necessary reaction and will ultimately help you get past it.

Don’t carry on as normal
Sticking your head in the sand and carrying on as normal is not going to make the situation better. Instead try to create new habits and associations. If you and your partner used to go for coffee every weekend at a particular place, go somewhere else, if you used to walk your dog together every morning then choose another route. They seem like small steps but will help you to realise you can do things on your own.

Consider what was important before your marriage
If you are expected to consider practical problems during the early stages of your divorce, for example furniture negotiation, then consider what was important before you got married. If you are in a bitter row over who gets to keep the recliner or the flatscreen TV with surround sound then take a step back and think about if you only want these things because your ex partner does. Think about the possessions you loved even before you were married.

Learn to be alone
Being alone is a fantastic opportunity to learn new skills. Try setting a goal for yourself every few months which involves either socialising or trying something new.

Be Thankful
Sounds cheesy but each day take a little time out and think of all the things which have happened recently that made you smile. Doing this forces us to take a look at things we may have overlooked and taken for granted, for instance, yes maybe your car broke down in a blizzard the other day, but what about the good samaritan that pulled over to help you jump start it?

Don’t Compare
Instead of using other peoples happiness to measure against your own, why not just take pleasure from it? If you are always comparing what you have and how happy you are to someone else then you won’t feel good or appreciate the great things you have in your own life. Life is not a race so start taking things slower and try to be less competitive.

Believe your job matters
Often we lose sight of how what we do has a positive impact on the lives of others. A study of hospital cleaning staff found that those who described their job as bettering the lives of others were more satisfied than those who didn’t consider their jobs worthwhile. We are all part of a bigger picture and we all contribute to the common good.

Surround yourself with happy people
According to a study conducted by Harvard Medical School and the University of California, happiness has a domino effect which spreads from person to person, through social circles. On average, every happy friend you have increases your chance of being happy by nine per cent.

View the original article here