Come all ye unfaithful
With Tiger Woods and his many mistresses racking up column inch after column inch during the past couple of weeks for the most part our sympathy and loyalty lies with his poor wife. However, we often forget that the mistress (if genuine) could also experience some heartache, after all we can’t help who we fall in love with.
With drink fuelled work parties happening on a frequent basis now we are in the official run up to Christmas we are all guilty of thinking, who is going to fall over first? Who is going to dance on the table? Who is going home with who?
Office parties are a breeding ground for infidelities, we see our colleagues in a different light and that’s not just because of the free drinks. There is no denying that affairs can be exiting, the thrill of the chase, the danger, the passion. However they can also be painful and damaging for everyone involved.
If somehow you find yourself as the ‘other women’ or ‘other man’, then there are certain words of caution that may help you. Below are a few:
Gone are the days that having a mistress is socially acceptable, so being a mistress is even less so. The criticism you read or watch in the media is nothing compared to the harsh judgements you will fall prey to from your friends and your family if you become the ‘other women’. Being a mistress isn’t a glamorous job, real-life mistresses will have friends who are married or who have been the victim of infidelities and they will not offer much sympathy. So be thick skinned.
Don’t reveal details to mutual friends unless you want to get caught. Be discreet, if you are colleagues then you must keep it low key at work. Some companies take relationships between staff very seriously and what you may have though was a bit of fun could turn into an offence that could have you sacked.
Always remember that you are with a person who lies to their partner, so don’t become too trusting. Be wary of tired old clichés such as. I love my wife but I am no longer ‘in love’ with her, that they sleep in the same bed but don’t have sex. Try to take it with a pinch of salt.
Lastly, think about what you want from all this, are you in love and do you want your affair to be something more? Or is it just a fling? In ether case make sure you are clear with your lover. According to a 2001 study by academics at Bradley University in the US, one in five people were ‘poached’ by their current partner when they were already in a relationship.
